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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979755">First Times</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunningInRoses/pseuds/RunningInRoses'>RunningInRoses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>As much as a one shot can be a slow burn, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Firsts, Friends to Lovers, Happy, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mild Angst, Mutual Pining, My First AO3 Post, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:40:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunningInRoses/pseuds/RunningInRoses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Akira arrives in Tokyo, his life is turned upside down by a certain blond. He recounts his stay, beginning to end, and all the firsts he had along the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>193</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>First Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you all for trying this story out! This is my first AO3 work so feedback would be very much appreciated.</p><p>The idea's been floating in my head for a while now just to write all the times Akira falls more and more in love with Ryuji. So, here it is!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Akira met Ryuji, it was raining.</p><p> </p><p>Hard pattering on the ground gave enough reason to hide away under an awning. He tapped away on his phone, waiting for the heavy bout to dispel. Of course, it didn't.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Weather today: Moderate to heavy rain</b>
</p><p> </p><p>The headline made Akira sink a little in his shoes. What a great first day.</p><p> </p><p>Footsteps shake him out of his focus, bringing it up and to the side, settling on a deluge of blonde hair. 'She's gorgeous', Akira thinks as she pats down the sleeves of her jacket. Then she raises her head, staring off into the distance. Turning slowly, her eyes meet his, as if she just noticed him there. A bright blue sky sweeps Akira off his feet, suddenly wanting to know who she is and why she looks so distraught.</p><p> </p><p>Mystery girl averts her gaze and Akira follows suit, almost embarrassed by his unabashed staring. A few seconds after, a car rolls up to the side of the road, window whirring down to reveal an older man inside.</p><p> </p><p>"Good morning! You want me to give you a ride to school? You're gonna be late." He calls to the girl.</p><p> </p><p>"Um sure, thank you." Her voice cuts through the rain. She glances at Akira before running to the car, climbing into the passenger seat.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you need a lift too?" This is directed at Akira now, who politely shakes his head because, as much as he'd love to not get soaked, he's got no idea who either of them are.</p><p> </p><p>At his dismissal, the window rolls up and the car pulls away. Mystery girl looked more distraught than before when she climbed in.</p><p> </p><p>Footsteps come again, quicker this time, that break him from the long-gone car.</p><p> </p><p>"Dammit! Screw that pervy teacher!" Sharp words spoken by a rough tongue reach Akira. Blonder hair comes into view, attached to a lanky form exuding a deep-seated rage.</p><p> </p><p>"Pervy teacher?" Akira can only question. What could he possibly mean?</p><p> </p><p>And then the blond boy whips around, staring him down with slanted eyes, wearing both his anger and confusion on his features.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira met Ryuji, he thought he was gorgeous.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira saves Ryuji, he's locked in a cell with him.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji's keeled over, having taken a punch to the gut, a sickly sound leaving him.</p><p> </p><p>"Just go!" He shouts, waving a hand as if it'll magically teleport Akira away, "Get outta here!"</p><p> </p><p>Akira pulls at the guard even still, not daring to leave Ryuji behind lest he be the cause of his demise. Kamoshida taunts him as he claws at sheets of armor, getting knocked against the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji gets tossed to the ground like a ragdoll and Akira can't help the single "Stop!" he yells in protest. Kamoshida kicks him too, sneering down at him with this smug look on his face. He rises to his feet and tries to rush the teacher but he's pinned, crushing weight put solidly on his shoulders. A solid punch straight to the jaw knocks his glasses off his face, a flare of bright pain seeping in deep.</p><p> </p><p>Fire rises through his veins and he can't stand this anymore.</p><p> </p><p>'This truly is an unjust game.'</p><p> </p><p>'I lend you my strength.'</p><p> </p><p>And in a quick gust of wind, Akira feels the mask on his face, knowing deep down he must remove it. Even as it tears at his skin, he sees through the blood a future that he's never seen for himself before - freedom.</p><p> </p><p>Fire engulfs him fully, a sweet icy burn crawling around his limbs until he feels his rebellion form, long coat and red gloves. </p><p> </p><p>Gentleman thief Arsene always smiles, but his tone is jovial now more than it ever will be, "I am the rebel's soul that lives inside you. I'm pleased you've finally realized it yourself."</p><p> </p><p>Akira is glad too - glad to feel this power dancing at his fingertips.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira saved Ryuji, he had broken free.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji saves Akira, Akira's pinned underneath a Shadow's foot.</p><p> </p><p>His bones ache and creak concerningly, clawing at the fine rug below. Ryuji's on his knees, mourning his loss of a sport so precious to him he's got tears in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't let him get to you!" He can only shout, even if it forces the guard's boot down deeper. But Akira sees it, the sudden determination in Ryuji's eyes, broiling over in a rage that drips words straight from his soul.</p><p> </p><p>"Stop looking down on me with that stupid smile on your face!" He screams, hands balled so tight he's bleeding. And as his eyes turn yellow and he cries at the rebellion he's been holding back, Akira's never felt prouder.</p><p> </p><p>When the blue flames finally peel back to reveal a dashing pirate and a red scarf whipping in the wind, Akira jumps to Ryuji's side, prepared to fight whatever may lie in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji saves Akira, Akira carried his exhausted body home.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji takes Akira to Ogikubo, Akira spills his guts to him.</p><p> </p><p>His past, his fears. The thought that, if doing this whole Phantom Thief thing goes wrong, he'll be put somewhere worse than a jail. Akira's not one to outwardly worry, trying to stay calm in all situations, but it all crushes him at once.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji just patiently listens, his hand finding Akira's shoulder at the particularly grueling poison floating in his head.</p><p> </p><p>After speaking so much, Akira nurses an ice-cold water in his hands, dripping in his lap as Ryuji talks him through it all.</p><p> </p><p>For someone so dense sometimes, Akira knows that Ryuji will always care.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji takes Akira to Ogikubo, the blond pays for both their ramens.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira sees Ryuji run - really run - they're escaping from Kamoshida's castle.</p><p> </p><p>They run for dear life, the terror of being crushed and disappearing forever fueling their legs. Akira pulls Ann out of the way of falling debris, trying to keep everyone, at most, a pace behind him. He can see the light of day close. So close.</p><p> </p><p>A sharp cry rings from behind him and he whips around, ice clutching his heart as he sees Ryuji on his side, holding his knee. Akira immediately moves to haul his ass up but Ryuji waves him off.</p><p> </p><p>"It's been a while, so I just tripped, is all." And he gets up, even if his gait is more lopsided than it was before.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira sees Ryuji run, he wanted to pick him up in his arms and carry him to the exit.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira drives the Mona bus, Ryuji's sitting shotgun.</p><p> </p><p>When they've all rolled their eyes at his very obvious pun ("Guys I literally have a shotgun, it was meant to be"), he climbs in, giddy like a little kid. His hands are all over the center console, the glove box, the seat adjuster.</p><p> </p><p>Ann sees the dumb, stupid look on Akira's face and shakes her head with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>As they wind through the first level of Mementos, they find treasure and climb out of the bus to retrieve it. Ryuji hangs on Akira's side as he hauls the top off the chest. By the time they get back into the bus, his side is burning.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira drives the Mona bus, Ryuji compliments his driving as if he's done it his whole life.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira holds Ryuji's hand, they're hanging out in Leblanc.</p><p> </p><p>Yusuke's shared his troubled past with everyone, a sore wound gaping in the form of Madarame. It's heartbreaking, thinking about his mother, her want to give her child the best. It makes Akira think of his own mother, letting him hide in her skirts when he was younger. Nowadays she's grown more stern with him, trying to raise her boy into a proper man. Look where he is now.</p><p> </p><p>The frown must be evident on his face because the second after he thinks it, Ryuji, who is sitting next to him in the booth, places a hand over his on the seat. His drawn eyebrows bring comfort like no other.</p><p> </p><p>They don't really say anything, just listening to Yusuke continue his tale, but their grip gets tighter. Akira senses the familiarity within Ryuji as well.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira holds Ryuji's hand, he realizes they're more similar than he thought.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira has Ryuji in his bedroom, they're playing some stupid game on his ancient console.</p><p> </p><p>Moist spring air fills the room, drifting in from the wide-open window, leaving a tacky feeling on Akira's skin.</p><p> </p><p>He sits on an uncomfortable wooden chair, opting to let Ryuji sit cross-legged on the couch to his right. They thumb at their controllers, punching and kicking at each other in the game. Even though Akira hasn't played many video games, he seems to be on par with Ryuji's frantic style of 'mash button furiously'.</p><p> </p><p>"Damn man, why do you gotta be so good at everything?" The blond sighs, tossing the controller to the end of the couch and falling to his back.</p><p> </p><p>"Giving up?" Akira says quietly, a grin on his face at the victory, laughing a little at Ryuji's pointed glare.</p><p> </p><p>"Sure man, whatever. You probably rigged it or something."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm an honest man, Ryuji." Akira snickers, scooting his chair closer to the couch so he can flick his friend's arm. Admittedly, he just wanted to be closer period. Ryuji stares up at him, all brown-eyed inquisition. They don't back down from each other's gaze, regarding the other.</p><p> </p><p>Something tight swells in Akira's throat, a twitch of needing to do <em>something </em>arising, but he just settled for leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He's evening his breath as if he'd just ran a mile.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira has Ryuji in his bedroom, Ryuji traces an aimless, unrelenting pattern into his pant leg.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira gets pissed at Ryuji, he's stuck in the student council room with Makoto Niijima.</p><p> </p><p>His exterior is all cool and collected but inside sirens are blaring and all cognitive functions have ceased.</p><p> </p><p>"If someone else could help 'em, we wouldn't be doing stuff as the Phantom Thieves to start with!"</p><p> </p><p>Akira wants to wring his hands, put them in his hair, slam them on the desk.</p><p> </p><p>Akira keeps his hands neatly folded in his lap, biting the inside of his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"What could all this mean?" Niijima wonders aloud, tucking her short hair behind her ear. Her stuck-up voice has Akira writhing under his skin.</p><p> </p><p>And then his phone gives a telltale ring. He knows it, can sense the universe playing this cruel game with him.</p><p> </p><p>"Go ahead," Niijima instructs him.</p><p> </p><p>Akira nearly breaks his phone, both so happy but so frustrated to hear Ryuji's voice on the other end.</p><p> </p><p>The instant he hears Phantom leave his friend's mouth, he resigns himself to this fate he's been handed.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira gets pissed at Ryuji, he forgives him right after because how could he ever stay angry.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira has his glasses off in public, his vision is blurry with yellow.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji's bright tank top stands out among the somewhat hazy shapes surrounding him, a lighthouse on a rocky shore. When he gets lost in all the other colors of white and blue and pink, he flies back to yellow and finds his safe haven.</p><p> </p><p>He compliments the girls and Yusuke in their yukatas, triggering something in Akira that makes him red in the ears. As they stalk their way outside to see the fireworks, though, he keeps his eyes on Ryuji's light.</p><p> </p><p>The only thing rivaling his light is the colorful sparks in the sky, flashing in Akira's vision one after the other.</p><p> </p><p>When the rain picks up, he averts his gaze back to the ground, shaking wet bangs from his eyes. A good solid elbow lands in Ryuji's side when he stares at Ann.</p><p> </p><p>They nudge each other playfully the whole ride home. When Akira sneaks a peek at a pink and green waistband, he feigns sleep and rests his hot head in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira has his glasses off in public, Ryuji drags his finger along his usually untouchable temple.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira hits Ryuji, the Phantom Thieves are on their way to Futaba Sakura's palace.</p><p> </p><p>They're sweltering, breathing in and out stale, chalky air. The heat is almost unbearable, sweat making Akira's shirt cling to his chest. He leans forward, placing his head on the leather seat in front of him. He hears the girls talking in the front seat for a little before things go quiet. Ryuji, who had been bitching to his right the whole time, had gone silent as well.</p><p> </p><p>Raising his head, he sees the blond leering at Ann, making Akira grimace and slaps his bicep, snapping him out of his daze.</p><p> </p><p>Ann noticed and gives them hell.</p><p> </p><p>'At least the palace has air conditioning', Akira can only think feebly, pain forming in his collarbone.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira hits Ryuji, they both end up with matching bruises.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira goes to a beach, he immediately regrets his decision. </p><p> </p><p>The heat is almost unbearable, crystalline water calling out his name like a siren. He holds a can of soda to his neck, sighing with relief. As much as the beach is a good idea for a summer trip, Akira can feel his pale skin burning and peeling already.</p><p> </p><p>He looks up at his friends, watching as Yusuke considers the scene, Ryuji chewing on a popsicle stick. The artist frames his face with his fingers, head tilted. Even after he puts his hands down, the image burns into Akira's mind.</p><p> </p><p>Ever since they started doing their Phantom Thief work, he's seen Ryuji slowly gain more muscle, training to be the strongest he can be. Akira is disappointed the eye candy works so well on him, making him drown himself in the heat of his crossed arms on the table.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira goes to a beach, he gets impossibly turned on by his friend.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira thinks about his feelings, he's lying stone still in his bed, Morgana curled up on his chest.</p><p> </p><p>As his mind seems to do recently, it wanders to a certain blond, imagining his smile as he gets a math question right, kicks a Shadow so satisfyingly in the teeth, wins a game against Akira.</p><p> </p><p>It lights Akira on fire, prickling his skin just as Arsene had when he was first summoned.</p><p> </p><p>As if he can hear his thoughts, Morgana groans.</p><p> </p><p>"I can see the gears turning. What's up?" The cat asks. Of course he would know all of Akira's tells by now. They do live together, after all.</p><p> </p><p>"I… I just can't stop thinking." Akira tries vaguely.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I can see that. What about?"</p><p> </p><p>Trying to parse an appropriately answer from the sea of Ryuji in his head, Akira brings his hands up to curl in his hair.</p><p> </p><p>"Ryuji."</p><p> </p><p>"What, he get on your nerves today?" Morgana jokes, a teasing tone weaved in his prod.</p><p> </p><p>"No, Morgana. I just- I just can't stop thinking <em> about </em>him."</p><p> </p><p>This gets the cat's attention considerably, his wide eyes finding Akira's through the slits in his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>"Like… like Lady Ann? With me?" He treads carefully, trying to phrase the question to be as non-threatening as possible.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I think so." Akira finally says after a pause. His heart feels so heavy in his ribcage. He feels like he's going to throw up. </p><p> </p><p>It takes Morgana a long time before he answers, resting his head back on Akira's chest.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay. I don't really see what's so special about him though. He's so clueless." Even if the jab is typical, Akira feels much better hearing it.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana doesn't think it's weird.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira thinks about his feelings, he falls asleep to a soft yellow dream at the forefront of his mind.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira shares a room with someone, Ann's on the bed and Ryuji's on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>They're all lying awake, comfortably relaxing in the presence of each other, even with poor Mishima throwing his guts up in the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of Hawaii lures Akira from his spot on the couch, standing to reach the balcony. He slides the door open and closes it, hanging his head in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>A cool tropical gale flows gently over his skin, taking the scent of sand and coconut with it. As much of a paradise this place is, it's difficult trying to sit still and sleep. With the public defeat of Medjed and Futaba joining the team, lots has been happening with the Phantom Thieves. The fame Mishima talks about radiates from his excitement about the Phan Site, dripping down Akira's throat to plant an ugly swell in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>It's all getting to him.</p><p> </p><p>He can feel the precipice they're reaching, striving for.</p><p> </p><p>He can feel the tumble off the cliff coming.</p><p> </p><p>Akira really needs to stop hanging out with Chihaya. Last time he went, her fortune of the day to him read so ominously that he had to take a minute to collect himself before doing a test for her.</p><p> </p><p>The glass door behind him slides open and out steps Ann, holding a finger to her lips. Akira can easily hear the snores Ryuji's making until she slowly shuts the door again.</p><p> </p><p>Then they're both free to sigh in tandem. If there's one thing they all know about Ryuji, it's that he's a loud snorer.</p><p> </p><p>"What's got you so worked up?" Ann asks as she settles into a leaning position on the ledge, tossing a half-hearted gaze Akira's way.</p><p> </p><p>"Doesn't this feel a little too perfect?" He enunciates his fears quietly, barring his arms across his chest. "All the success, the fans." He shakes his head, "Feels like all of this is happening too quickly."</p><p> </p><p>Ann hums in agreement, sinking deeper into her arms.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I feel it too. We're worldwide now. We've got everyone looking at us. What if it all goes wrong?" She watches Akira from the corner of her eye, waiting for his reaction.</p><p> </p><p>He can only muster a sigh, bringing a hand to his temple. A prolific headache starts to form.</p><p> </p><p>"Kinda wish I just stayed home."</p><p> </p><p>A frown pulls down Ann's lips, "Yeah, me too."</p><p> </p><p>Silence washed over them, their thoughts louder than words. Akira's thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. He wishes life was easier. As much as he loves being a Phantom Thief, helping the weak stand up to the corrupt, it's wearing at his soul. The only thing really keeping him going is…</p><p> </p><p>He chances a glance inside, seeing Ryuji lying on his side, facing away from the glass doors. His shirt is rucked up, exposing his pale back that's flecked with birthmarks.</p><p> </p><p>Akira's face heats up considerably and he returns his gaze back to the beach.</p><p> </p><p>"Why haven't you told him yet?" Ann asks him, all-knowing. She's observant, or Akira's just obvious. Probably both.</p><p> </p><p>"He's not even like that. I'd rather not ruin what we have just cause I wanna kiss him." He wallows. The strings attached to his heart get yanked every time the other boy comes to his mind. He can't even imagine the damage that would be done if they were cut so ruthlessly.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't hear the way he talks about you, Kira. You don't see the way he looks at you cause you've got your head shoved so far up your ass." Ann laughs lightly, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know it's not easy. I know that more than anyone. But you should just tell him. At least before you go back home." </p><p> </p><p>And with that, she disappears back into the hotel room, leaving Akira alone with his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira shares a room with someone, he resolves that he'll share his feelings too, soon enough.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira hugs Ryuji, the blond is bloodied and in pain.</p><p> </p><p>Trying to have the team work together after Morgana got pissed and left was difficult enough. Morgana is easily the most skilled healer of the team and Akira's team sorely needed him.</p><p> </p><p>Akira and Morgana smoothed over their differences the night he came back with Haru, who's such a gem that Akira feels a familiar swell of butterflies in his chest when he talks to her.</p><p> </p><p>But trying to get Morgana and Ryuji to make up is much more difficult than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>They're in the middle of a battle and Akira's trying to keep everyone together, attacking the robot enemies of Okumura's palace like they're in some sci-fi movie.</p><p> </p><p>It's all going well until Akira lands a poorly misplaced hit on an Arahabaki that it reflects back at him and throws Akira to his knees.</p><p> </p><p>"Joker!" He hears a chorus of the team's voices - Ryuji, Haru, Morgana - but his vision goes fuzzy around the edges as he tries to collect himself.</p><p> </p><p>He's been hit with a critical, knocking him down and giving the enemy a chance to throw another attack at him. He knows he'll go down in one more hit if the enemy throws a curse attack at him, having Daisoujou as his equipped persona. And seeing the red and black forming around the enemy, he knows the odds are against him.</p><p> </p><p>Akira breathes in heavily, taking this one last chance to think before he can't anymore. He's glad he got to go to Tokyo, to meet his friends that are now more family than he's ever had. He's glad he had the chance to love and be loved back.</p><p> </p><p>When shadows of red fly towards him, he closes his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing more comes though besides a wail from in front of him, tearing him back to reality.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji cries out, lying on his side, clutching at his chest. Dark burns cake his clothing, bits of his jacket and shirt burnt away.</p><p> </p><p>Akira's mouth goes dry.</p><p> </p><p>"Haru, NOW!" He can only yell, watching as her bright purple Psychic attack meets the enemy and knocks it to the floor. When the All-Out Attack comes, all Akira can do is hack and slash and destroy the robot until it's nothing more than scraps, tears streaming steadily down his face.</p><p> </p><p>When the battle is finally over, he rushes over to Ryuji and pulls his head into his lap, begging Morgana to cast Recarm on him. Not an ounce of reluctance shows from the cat.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji coughs a sputter of blood when he's revived, his wounds smaller but not entirely gone. </p><p> </p><p>Akira runs faster than he ever has before to a safe room, cradling Ryuji's limp body to his chest.</p><p> </p><p>When they get to the closest safe room, Akira waves everyone away as he lies Ryuji on a set of uncomfortable metal boxes. He wishes they still had the plush couches from Kamoshida's palace.</p><p> </p><p>When Ryuji finally opens his eyes again, it makes Akira fall to his knees and brings the tears back. He grasps so tightly onto Ryuji's arm, wailing.</p><p> </p><p>No one's ever died before. He's never had to revive anyone.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji had said he'd do anything for him the last time they talked. Anything includes jumping in front of a life-threatening attack, Akira guesses.</p><p> </p><p>"Never do that again." He begs quietly, voice quivering.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji just chuckles, an ugly gurgle following it.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira hugs Ryuji, his eyes hurt from how dry and puffy they are.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji hugs Akira, sorrow fills the air.</p><p> </p><p>Spending the day at Destinyland, completely unattended, was a dream. The whole group rode the rides together, screaming their heads off in delight. When the time finally came to eat, they're seated at an elegant iron table in front of the iconic Destinyland castle, soft candle-lit lanterns lighting the scene.</p><p> </p><p>Akira's never been happier. Especially with Ryuji at his side, wearing these ridiculous bear ears that make Akira's heart melt.</p><p> </p><p>They're all laughing and conversing about random things, just enjoying the time they're spending together.</p><p> </p><p>And then Haru's father's sudden announcement plays on her phone and right before all their eyes, their hard work crumbles.</p><p> </p><p>He choked on his own black spit, falling onto the table littered with microphones. Even after the feed cuts, Akira's holding a hand to his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>It was all for nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Did they kill him? Was it their fault?</p><p> </p><p>He can't help the fear squeezing his throat, making it hard to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone is in disbelief. No one more than Haru, and Akira tries to ignore the pit of guilt forming in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji senses it, of course, and just pulls Akira into a hug. Not some half-assed side hug like he usually would.</p><p> </p><p>The connection makes Akira feel safer, even with uncertainty swirling like a hurricane around them.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Ryuji hugs Akira, they're completely silent until they get home.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira pieces it all together, he's hanging out with his friends at the school festival.</p><p> </p><p>With their lackluster performance, their popularity plummets and Akechi, their long-standing rival, gains his back.</p><p> </p><p>So much so that he's the top choice for the special guest.</p><p> </p><p>When he pulls the group into a side room and exposes them, Akira tries connecting it all in his head.</p><p> </p><p>None of it adds up. Until he remembers.</p><p> </p><p>Pancakes. Fucking pancakes.</p><p> </p><p>When he tells Morgana his suspicions of the prince detective, Morgana's eyes widen in terror. He sees the future play right in front of his eyes and the relief at catching the traitor before he could slip under their nose is immense.</p><p> </p><p>They hatch a plan before anything else. For now, it's a secret. Not for long though. Not with Sae's palace around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>Akira pieced all that together.</p><p> </p><p>He also pieces together the truth of the matter with Ryuji.</p><p> </p><p>They're hanging out at the Student Sharing Session, making jabs at the other people going up with Mishima. And then Ryuji calls out, suggesting that Akira wants to go up. The announcer has Ryuji come up instead since he's so eager.</p><p> </p><p>Akira snickers next to Mishima, watching as their friend shuffles uncomfortably on the stage in front of the mic. He's got nothing to share, so the announcer prods him for his feelings on the Phantom Thieves. And, of course, that topic is always trouble when it comes to Ryuji, who can't keep his big mouth shut.</p><p> </p><p>'Say something to distract them!!' Ryuji texts him clandestinely, begging with his eyes. Akira thinks of something devious.</p><p> </p><p>'I'll say I love you.' He jokes and Ryuji's face goes bright red in an instant after reading the text.</p><p> </p><p>'Dude that's not what I meant!!!'</p><p> </p><p>Akira's almost surprised at how kind of nonchalant he is about the suggestion.</p><p> </p><p>The announcer decides Ryuji is taking too long and pushes him off the stage where Akira and Mishima drag him out to the rooftop, laughing at his dumb ass.</p><p> </p><p>After Mishima leaves to catch his breath, Akira and Ryuji sit next to each other on the cluster of desks. They're close enough that their shoulders are touching.</p><p> </p><p>Crisp October air fills the gap between them. Ryuji hands Akira a hotdog piled high with condiments, saying he got it for Akira to eat because he's so skinny.</p><p> </p><p>When Ryuji's not looking, Akira watches his face as he watches the faraway world, appreciating the flush on his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>When Akira's not looking, Ryuji sneaks a glance, seeing his friend staring down at his hands in his lap, a small, loving smile adorning his lips.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira pieces it all together, the two talk about everything they've ever known as they stare up into the stars.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira pauses in his story, he's bright red and dizzy.</p><p> </p><p>Sae tries to snap him out of it, holding his shoulders to keep him upright.</p><p> </p><p>Akira wants to blame it on the drugs the police gave him.</p><p> </p><p>It's not the truth though.</p><p> </p><p>"What happened next, Kurusu?" Sae presses, "What happened after you took my treasure?"</p><p> </p><p>Akira, lava flowing in his veins, pulls at the sleeves of his shirt. "It's not important," He says, even as he remembers exactly what happened with clarity.</p><p> </p><p>After stealing Sae's treasure, which had been a fake to keep Akechi occupied, Akira told the group to go ahead, letting himself be the distraction. Everyone knows the plan but Akechi and yet they still have genuine fear in their voices as they tell him to do his best. The Phantom Thieves rush to their alternative exit. All but Ryuji. He knows better than anyone how dangerous their next move is.</p><p> </p><p>Akira wants to say something, anything, but the words get caught in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji takes a deep breath in, steps forward, and pulls Akira into a kiss.</p><p> </p><p>He's always been the one to initiate things.</p><p> </p><p>Akira follows his lips as he pulls back, suddenly overcome with the urge to drop everything and run away with the boy that stole his heart.</p><p> </p><p>All Ryuji says is, "I'll see you soon." And then he's out the doors, rushing to catch up with the group.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira pauses his story, he traces a finger over his chapped lips before continuing.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira sees his friends again, Ryuji rushes to his side to pull him into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>He's alive, thank god, telling the group how the plan was a success.</p><p> </p><p>Tricking Akechi was easier than he thought, really. Sae is relieved that she made the right choice, clapping Akira on the back when she gets the chance.</p><p> </p><p>"You've got some tact yourself, Kurusu. I didn't even realize what was going on until now." She admits. Akira's just glad that everyone is safe. He's glad that they've got Representative Shido in their sights, the asshole that destroyed his life with one shove.</p><p> </p><p>Akira's ready, more than ever, to take down the root of Japan's problems with one fell swoop.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira sees his friends again, they all pile around him to support his plan.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira and Ryuji address their kiss, they're sitting on Akira's bed, reading manga together.</p><p> </p><p>They're in the middle of their investigation of Shido's palace and, as much as Akira wants to send the calling card already, he waits so everyone can recoup. For him, it's spending time with his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>They haven't really addressed what happened in Sae's palace, but they've definitely gotten closer. Always touching, whether it be a side hug, a hand on the other's arm, their knees bumping. Every time it still gets Akira, but he's able to sit still and quiet. He's used to it, mostly.</p><p> </p><p>What he's not used to is the way Ryuji's leaning into him, eyes fluttering closed as if he can't manage to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p>"You can go home if you're tired," Akira suggests, feeling bad for inviting his friend over without considering how he's feeling.</p><p> </p><p>"It's all good, man," Ryuji waves him off, "Just didn't sleep a lot last night." They'd scoured the top deck of the palace this afternoon, Akira pushing the group until they'd made it through the winding halls to, finally, the final safe room that the map indicated. Kawakami was good enough at her job that she'd kept Akira up long enough to invite Ryuji over, but his friend didn't get the same treatment.</p><p> </p><p>"You can lie down if you want," Akira suggests, scooting to the side. Ryuji looks like he's about to protest but, after a second, he sets the manga down on the floor and flops face-first into Akira's pillow, groaning. </p><p> </p><p>Akira rubs the blonde's back, smiling. He can't help but react to how endearing it is. It causes Ryuji to lift his head, staring at Akira with a mild expression. This goes on until Akira thinks back and averts his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Yuji, can I ask you a question?"</p><p> </p><p>"Shoot." The response is muffled.</p><p> </p><p>Akira fights through the tightness in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>"Why'd you kiss me? In the palace?" He keeps his eyes on the wood floor, wringing his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji notices, takes one of his hands and laces them together. "Cause I like you, Akira. More than I ever thought I'd liked someone. Because I couldn't stand the idea of you leaving without me ever getting to show you that."</p><p> </p><p>Akira's surprised by how honest the confession is, eyes wide as he snaps his neck to look at Ryuji.</p><p> </p><p>The blond's face is red, gaze trained on their interlocked fingers. Then it shifts up, melting the cold that's locked up Akira's limbs.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira and Ryuji address their kiss, one kiss turns into twenty.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira thinks about death, he wishes he'd done more.</p><p> </p><p>With Shido's palace prematurely collapsing, the Phantom Thieves panic and scramble, trying to follow their escape route. Water fills the hallways and their path is blocked. Speculations of why the palace is disappearing without having touched the treasure first float around but Akira ordered his friends to find an exit first because he is <em> not </em>letting them die here, not after everything they've done.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh god, we're all gonna die!" Futaba sobs, hands grasping her hair. Akira tries calming her down, looking around for some way, any way out. A boat on the far end of the bow catches his attention. Ryuji looks at Akira at the same time as the other, and Akira feels his heart tighten, knowing exactly what he's going to say.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll do it. I'm the fastest one here." Ryuji stands tall, climbing onto the ledge of the wall.</p><p> </p><p>"Ryuji!" Akira cries, but it doesn't stop his lover from running, running with all the power he has, from living his fleeting dream once again as he leaps over a void of water and lands on the other side. His desperate leap for the emergency release is granted with the boat flying from its post, landing with a splash in the water below.</p><p> </p><p>Akira is quick to reign the boat in and pile everyone inside, fear clamping around his heart as he sees Ryuji dangling on for dear life on the now horizontal crane.</p><p> </p><p>The thumbs-up he gives is penultimate to his smile, a small cut on his cheek. The image burns into Akira's mind, the explosion rocking them all back with a flash.</p><p> </p><p>Smoke and fire cover the scene and all they can do is stare in disbelief at Ryuji's absence, disappeared as if a magician yanked him out of a hat into some other world.</p><p> </p><p>Akira refuses this idea even as he feels hot tears trickle down his face, refuses to believe that-</p><p> </p><p>The real world gives them no clues, devoid of him, making Akira fall to his knees and sob into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>A glimmer of hope is a hazy voice croaking for help in the bushes a few yards away. Akira is the first to pull Ryuji's body from the branches, holding his hands tightly as he kisses each finger.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't care, even as the group surrounds them both, smiling through their tears.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira thinks about death, he laughs in its face because he knows he'll fight the universe just to be with Ryuji.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira loses all hope, Ryuji is disappearing right in front of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Society's wish is to hail under the Holy Grail, to not have to think for itself even with the corrupt people wanting to steer the world for their benefit.</p><p> </p><p>They've been forgotten in this world consumed by Mementos, bones of ancient gods sprouting from the streets. People disregard them as they writhe on the ground, bodies slowly fading into nothing. Akira reaches out, trying to catch someone, anyone, before they go. His hand finds Ryuji's, smiling despite the pain of being forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>His grip is tight until his hand vanishes.</p><p> </p><p>Akira cries until he himself is gone.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira loses all hope, he himself is dead.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira gains back his hope, he's rushing through the Velvet Room, trying to snap his friends back into reality.</p><p> </p><p>They doubt themselves, regret filling them for what they've done. Being Phantom Thieves, for getting one over on the ones that hurt them.</p><p> </p><p>Akira has to remind them why they did it in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>He's convinced everyone he's found, who return to the central cells of the Velvet Room.</p><p> </p><p>He almost feels terrible that he finds Ryuji last, his head in his hands as he sits on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Akira reaches his hands through the bars, pulling at Ryuji's purple jacket. It gets his attention long enough for Akira to spill his heart.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you so much, Ryuji. You'll never really know it and that's okay but I need you so much. I couldn't have done any of this if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be where I am without you. So I can't let you give up. I need you to go on, for me."</p><p> </p><p>When the door of the cell lights up and disappears, Ryuji steps out and pulls Akira by the neck into the most desperate kiss they've had yet.</p><p> </p><p>It lights Akira's nerves on fire and his eyes immediately flutter shut, loosely locking his hands on Ryuji's waist.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira gains back his hope, Ryuji says that they should tell their friends they're official.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira realizes the rebellion within him grants more power than he thought, he's holding the God of Control at his mercy, the roar of humanity fueling his ascent.</p><p> </p><p>All his friends that he's made - old and young and quiet and proud - they scream at him, telling him that they've always believed.</p><p> </p><p>Humanity, afraid to lose themselves in nothing, pleads for him to restore their individuality. </p><p> </p><p>The Phantom Thieves, here with him at the end, ready their personas to destroy Yaldabaoth.</p><p> </p><p>Akira smiles as Arsene engulfs him again in a blaze of blue fire, his heart sailing high as his rebellion shifts, becoming larger and more powerful.</p><p> </p><p>Arsene, in a flash of the eye, becomes Satanael, a behemoth that nearly stands taller than the building-sized Yaldabaoth.</p><p> </p><p>Akira holds out his hand, commanding Satanael to poise his gun. With the force of all humankind behind him, he pulls the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira realizes the rebellion within him grants more power than he thought, he's blasted a hole into the head of a god.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Akira turns himself in on Christmas Eve, he cries silently in his cell, thinking of his friends.</p><p> </p><p>He's just glad they're okay.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Akira's released from prison, found innocent, his friends are there to greet him at Leblanc.</p><p> </p><p>Sojiro closes up the shop to let them have their fun.</p><p> </p><p>It comforts Akira, cooking his friends curry and making them coffee. Eating with them smooths over the wounds of being held in jail for so long. They all have many questions, but by the end of the day, they're just chatting aimlessly because there's nothing else to talk about.</p><p> </p><p>They're back together again after months of being apart and it feels like Akira never left.</p><p> </p><p>He's just afraid of going home. It's so close.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't voice his thought. He just walks his friends to the train station when they leave for the night. Ryuji sneaks a kiss from him before he hops on his loop.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first time Akira and Ryuji have their first time, it's Valentine's day.</p><p> </p><p>Akira dedicates the day to Ryuji, taking the boy wherever he wants to go, holding his hand the whole way through. They go to the arcade, Dome Town, Ogikubo, Akihabara. Anywhere, everywhere. They do anything that'll put a smile on Ryuji's face.</p><p> </p><p>When they get back to Leblanc, Sojiro claps Akira on the shoulder and tells him to lock up, a knowing smirk on his face. Akira only nods, bright red.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji nurses a soda as he sits across from Akira, talking about the day and how fun it was. Akira is happy. </p><p> </p><p>Then Ryuji slides to his side of the booth and rests his head on his shoulder, asking, "So you're going home soon, right?" It brings down Akira's mood considerably, making him hold Ryuji to him tighter.</p><p> </p><p>"I wish I didn't have to."</p><p> </p><p>"It's alright. I can't imagine being away from my mom that long, probation or not." Ryuji tries, smiling softly up at his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Akira frowns, "But you guys are the only people that care about me. I don't have any friends back home. I'll be so lonely."</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji finds Akira's hand, wrapping it in both of his.</p><p> </p><p>"I won't let you be lonely. I'll call you every day. You'll be so sick of me you'll be glad you moved back."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't say that." Akira grabs a hold of Ryuji's chin, making the blond meet his gaze. "I'll never get sick of you."</p><p> </p><p>"You sure?" He tries to make it sound sarcastic but Akira hears the thread of true fear weaved in the question. To answer it, he pulls their faces closer until they're kissing, slow and sweet.</p><p> </p><p>"Let me stay the night." Ryuji pleads against Akira's lips, wandering hand pushing underneath Akira's shirt. Of course, all he can do is oblige.</p><p> </p><p>They find warmth together, curled up with one another in Akira's bed. Even with beads of sweat rolling down his bare back, Akira doesn't mind the heat of their bodies. It makes him feel whole, being so close to the one who cradles his heart.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Akira and Ryuji have their first time, they make it a second time a few minutes after.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The day March 20th arrives, Akira spends twenty minutes in the bathroom trying to stop his crying.</p><p> </p><p>He splashes cold water around his eyes, looking at himself in the mirror. He sees himself.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana tells him that he'll come home with him since he's really got nowhere else to go. Akira's grateful for the news.</p><p> </p><p>As he goes around town, saying goodbye to those he's made a bond with, they give him things to remember them by. Kawakami's maid service card is a perplexing one. Hifumi's shogi piece is endearing. Lavenza even sees him off with the key to his former cell.</p><p> </p><p>It all culminates as he makes his way back home to find his friends waiting on the next street over, a bus very similar to Mona's idling at the curb. They all give him a great big group hug, telling him that they're all going along for the ride to take him home.</p><p> </p><p>Even though Akira cried earlier, he does now too.</p><p> </p><p>As they ride down the highway, Ryuji smiles as he holds his hand in the back seat. His friends practically roll their eyes as they gush over each other. They remember all the time they spent together, which was a plenty long story to fill the ride home with.</p><p> </p><p>Akira decides to start the story.</p><p> </p><p>"The first time I met Ryuji, it was raining…"</p>
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